I seek the stoke!

So what, do you think, would possess an outwardly normal forty-something man to suddenly decide, practically out of nowhere, to learn to surf. The answer is that it has something to do with something called a "raison d'etre." This is a French term which, loosely translated, means "what is this crap and why should I care."
Actually, the meaning has more to do with having a reason to get up in the morning, but I enjoy attributing odd things to the French, just as a matter of course. Now, don't get me wrong. I have lots of things to motivate me to get up and face a new day (every single day so far, for, by my calculations, over 15,000 times up to this point). I have a reasonably good job which isn't really all that bad. I have an awesome wife, a great kid, a nice house, my health, a band, and lots of interests to keep my brain engaged.
For lots of people, those things provide all the satisfaction they would ever need. And if that were all I had and all I could have, it would be enough. But I can have more and be more, because I can do more. So I think I'd like to.
Lots of folks yammer on and on about happiness. What it is and how to get some of it. Let's get the cliches out of the way, shall we? I think most of us agree that it is a journey, not a destination, that it comes from inside, not outside, that money doesn't buy it and in any event, it cannot be stored up and saved for a rainy day.
The non-cliche is that everybody's different. What makes you happy might bore me to tears (or vice-versa). I mean, if happiness is simply a sense of well being and contentment, I'm not so much interested. Cows are contented. And they never seem to have a problem with constipation. And they hardly ever need therapy.
But, let's just say that I aspire to more than just another pasture, even if it is a bit greener than the one I started in.
For me, it's true that, at least to some degree, happiness is contentment, but paradoxically enough, contentment (for an intellligent human being) requires effort. It's kind of like the difference between fun and joy. I mean, fun, is, well, fun. Most people are pretty much pro-fun, I think. But joy is different, and better. To really experience joy, you have to immerse yourself in whatever you're doing.
The short version (yeah, yeah, I know it's a bit late for that) is that my concept of happiness is that sort of active contentment, mixed with genuine accomplishment, satisfying relationships, a spiritual awareness and liberal applications of joy. You know, some active actual exhileration mixed in with the contentment.
This is where the twin concepts of surfing and flow come in. If you're not familiar with the concept of "flow" it's the experience of total involvement in the task at hand. It's what athletes often describe as bing "in the zone," and, I believe, what surfers refer to as "stoke."
I seek the stoke. I'm reminded of another prescription for happiness I've heard that I think is pretty close to on the money. What you need to be happy, it is said, is "something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to."
Right now, surfing is one of the things I look forward to. It's not the only thing, the McGuffin upon which all my dreams and the plot of my future hangs. I still look forward to playing and accomplishing some things with my band and my songwriting. I look forward every day to getting home and seeing my wife. I sometimes anticipate the liquid gold of a beer going down my neck like a frenchman anticipates a liason with his mistress.
But I think that the thing about surfing that has me so wound up in anticipatory fervor is the pure physical nature of it. The culture, the image, the lifestyle that are bound up with the surfing mythos are only icing on the cake. It is the essence of the action of mastering a skill so that it can be done without conscious thought that feeds the real need.
And in the meantime, I'll be taking my runs, pushing the weights, doing some surf oriented calesthenics and feeding the anticipation. This is my something to look forward to. And in just a couple of weeks, it will become, if all goes well, the stoke.
I'll have some more questions and I appreciate everybody who has stopped by so far. I'm really digging on all the surfer blogosphere that I've found thus far. So stop by and say hi, and correct me if I say something stupid.

laters,